What is your take on feelings? Do you love talking about them, feeling them or would you rather walk on hot coal for an half hour?
I used to hate feelings. They felt like an entrapment, like some invisible beings whispering words to entice me into a state of mind, like a drug. At the same time I noticed how I loved watching romantic movies with my dad. We never talked much, but we had this quiet language, that felt like we talked all the time. Like when we watched romantic movies together. Always cheering on the heroine og the hero, allowing ourselves to feel, together, more than we did apart.
Now I talk about feelings with lightness and ease. It is even so easy to talk about feelings, that I easily interpret other peoples feelings when they have a hard time expressing them, but it wasn’t always like this. As a teenager and young adult, I was trapped, with feelings. How? I didn’t understand feelings and I didn’t understand the point with talking about them, either.
I only saw other people in misery with feelings. As I understood feelings then, it was a way to express how terrible your life was. How terrible you felt after hanging out with certain people and how you felt about people not understanding you. Or on the other hand, people being so ecstaticly happy, like a gospelchoir on a Sunday mass. All these extreme feelings, it felt wrong to me, and it felt like something beautiful was being seriously misunderstood, and the ones who misunderstood were the ones who bore the loss.
After a while I started reading more, and watched more movies, and found myself understanding beforehand how someone would feel about something and realised I was looking forward to that certain feeling, and I started to realise what feelings where all about. I noticed the movies I loved and in particular, the authors I loved. The ones who really elaborate on how something smells, tastes, looks and sounds like and most importantly, how it feels like.
Life is all about the stories, our stories, how we tell other people about our day, our meetings with new and familiar folks and how we experienced some delicious food (or the worst taste).
Feelings is a way to experience life. Not to be trapped in and be labels that explain you as a person. It might fit as a label for a certain situation, but if you would like to have a chance to experience more, and tell more stories, like the ones you never told before, that might give you the joy, shivering or passion untouched, you need to let the labels go, as soon as you have identified them.
You are not your feelings, you enjoy your life through them, explain life through them. In there lies your freedom. You are free to choose, if you let go.
These words were written as I listened to: