We aim to please, don’t we? Who can I please today, that will give me the preverbal pat on my shoulder, acknowledging me, like I long to be acknowledged? But they don’t, do they? Because we are all sitting on our separate patch, waiting for someone to tell us we are right. That we are worth the soil we are walking on.
The problem is, no-one is better than us. Yet, we strive to find that one person who will take the time out of their day (hopefully they are really busy so you can feel even more blessed when they tell you those special words: “I love what you do, you are truly a unique being”). But there is a flaw to this desire. You never wanted it.
If you truly wanted someone to tell that you are special, all you need to do is to look at virtually any self improvement coach out there, and you would be so satisfied that you would never speak of this again. But you do. You keep irritating that you are not special, nobody cares about you, and you just have to do this one thing, and then you are deemed special.
Listen to the words people are saying.
“I listen,” you say. Mweh. There is listening and connecting what people are saying to your life or the world around you, and there is being temporarily switched on; you hear the words that are coming out the persons mouth, but nothing is registering. Lip-service, as it were. So what is the deal? Somethings got to give.
What would happen if you just listened? No thoughts or emotions to added to what the person said. “I love your work.” Just say thank you. Thats it. And in the coming days, as you previously found little nuggets of disgust from other people (most likely not aimed at you, just their own personal shitstorm) you enjoy that nugget of someone saying I love your work and search for why they are right, instead of searching why the other persons shit was aimed at you, when it wasn’t. Because if it truly was, you would know why.
Allow yourself to be appreciated by you.
It was you all along, the one you wanted acknowledgement from.