My story of no more f•cks to give

Photography by Oleg Ivanov | Unsplash

What’s your story today?

With “Richard Says Goodbye” I say hello, not from the bottom of my heart but on my way up from the bottom of life. I needed to learn how to not give a f•ck and I would’t listen until I was lying on the perverbial floor and saying “I give in”.

Opting out of confrontation

I speak on storytelling every day. That is, other peoples stories that in the end inspire you to either agree or disagree, being provoked to an action or a new train of thought.

The other day, someone that I see every day, wanted to have a talk to clear some things up, which I agreed to, seeing that we have been at odds for a long time now. His partner was supposed to come as well but he explained she hated confrontation.

The conversation ended up being somewhat fruitful in us gaining more understanding of one another, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say I felt heard. The result was more of a good enough than top marks. We did the best we could with the problem and found some sort of arrangement.

In the days to follow, I kept thinking about the partner who chose not to come because she hated controversy. She got to opt out of the conversation.

“Quite frankly, I’m done. It’s time we lived a bit closer to the primal truth of it all. So from this point on, let us f*ck who we want to fuck, let us ingest what we want to ingest, and all in all, let’s do whatever we damn well please.”

from the movie Richard Says Goodbye

Her opting out of the conversation bothered me and with that in mind, I was inspired to find a movie as I often do to listen to my thoughts on this and the movie I chose was Richard Says Goodbye. I had already seen the trailer six months ago and I knew I needed to see it as I had gone through the fear, of what he was diagnosed with and now I needed to remind myself to be as him and just …

Not give a f*ck

There have been written books on the art of how to not give a f•ck.” Searching Amazon I found 29 pages of different versions of books on the topic; either written, audio or packages of f•cks yous that cannot be given anymore.

Here are a some of them:

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like

Everything Is F*cked: A Book about Hope

How about an adult swear colouring book? Being that sensitive people call it colourful langue:

F*uckity F*ck Adult Swear Coloring Book: Double Issue with 100 Coloring: Horrible Cuss Words to Color In. Don’t Show Mom.

It feels good to be angry and let it out with some colourful language but most of all, the need to be an allowance of my own anger, in my own presence, the acknowledgement, –is the way forward in not caring about other peoples opting out, for whatever reason. The amount of energy people use to keep choosing to hold on to their limitations, that they would rather do more of this action than look at how they can choose differently.

To rewrite their story.

Your story

“May we forever remember that in each and every moment we are composing stories of our lives.”

Richards toast to his students in Richard Says Goodbye

My story changed when I got the call about malignant melanoma in November last year, 2019. I had been on a slow and steady descent for years, burning my last fumes, oblivious to what I was doing to myself with the relationships I had, and the choices I made that were never for what I desired. Something in me screamed to not be in service for others twenty-four/seven.

Everybody avoids something. If you avoid conflicts, you are not alone in being the one that find things so uncomfortable that you choose to not deal with it. You have the choice to rewrite.

What’s your story today?

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