Allowing myself to accept the time for my own journey

Allowance of your journey
I will give you the allowance in a heartbeat! Of course, you can be just as weird as you are, no matter your age or lack of experience. Focus on what makes you happy, I would say, and you’d be none the wiser that I struggle with exactly that. Giving me the allowance.

I’ve spent years learning all the how-to’s for branding yourself and enjoying life right now, and I put it in to practise. However, if allowance was an ability that I was uploading into my own life, I would say I’m at 38%. That doesn’t mean it will take ages to upload the remaining 62%. It’s a matter of doing one thing every day for as long as it takes for me to get to know what’s my voice in the matter.

Like right now, I’m exploring Pinterest. I have over 37 thousand followers from when I mostly shared content marketing on my page. Now I’m shifting the page into the two topics I love the most (beyond Marvel, DC, Star Trek and movies in general):

How to do small talk

and

How to live as though you knew you’d be a 102 years old

The latter is a question that came to me as I saw several women reinventing themselves at the ripe age of 70, 80 and 90 years old. And it got me thinking; what if I become a 102-year-old woman? What if I’m subconsciously living life like everybody else, aiming to be 60 something? So I asked myself: do I want to live the remaining years in a body that I gave up on in my 40s? Because like everyone else, I had added the statements in my vocabulary: I’m getting old. Compared to a 102-year-old, I was a spring chicken and in the grand scheme of things, apparently, I might have 60 more years to live.

This thought can bring many people down, but for me, I got excited of the possibilities! Until this realisation I had been stressing out about my career, which was lacking. I had just realised that I was a creative entrepreneur. For years I tried to be employed. To be normal and got more depressed and had several panic attacks. This idea of moving the target of the life I was designing for me to a 102 years old made so much more sense to me. Later I would find out why.

For a couple of years now, I’ve been exploring writing and found that one thing that pulled me forward was exactly that. Writing fiction, non-fiction, essays, short stories and enjoying the ease it gave in my body. That it mentally calmed me when I would have my “creative storms” in my head. Which turned out to be stories.

I’ve also found my love for photography again. Portrait photography, street photography, nature art and more. I’m playing again and enjoying seeing the products of my photographs after I’ve captured it and edited it into the vision and feel I saw in the moment.

Another allowance is being this honest on my website where I sell my writing and photography services. I’m following the gut feeling that I’ll know later why it’s right. What I know is that writing a blog on this journey every day is definitely on track for the life I’m designing to possibly become a vibrant and happy 102-year-old woman.

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